Looking Inward - Admiration

Note: I realize it's been forever since I've posted. Perhaps one reader will be relieved that I've decided to finish this compilation of entries.

It's been said that "Mimicry is the highest form of flattery." To that thought, one may begin to understand the direction to which I want to head. What I mean is, for finding one's passion... one big clue is who do/did you want to be... and who do/did you admire?

A young boy may admire a superstar athlete. Does this necessarily mean that he wants to become "Michael Jordan?" The simple answer is yes. Sometimes it's as easy as that. Lebron James admired Michael Jordan and now he's a star too.

We know that this is not always the case. That perhaps works with 5% of the population. For the other 95%, we've may admit that natural talent plays a large role in dictating one's passions. What else can we learn though? It may have broader implications. The same boy could be a coach, trainer, or someone who would work in that industry.

An interesting exercise would be to list the top 3 people that you admire. Then think about why... is it something about what they do? Who they are? Write down what you find. Remember to be flexible.

The National Debt... Helping the wealthy get richer since 1776

As I continue my digression, I decided to make a political post.  

This is what doen't make sense to me:  Everyone knows that people learn by example.  Government leaders tell Americans that they need to be financially wiser, stay out of debt, etc.  But what is the national debt?  Over $10 trillion.  What America is really lacking are good examples to follow from leaders in positions of power.   What happened to integrity?  Honesty?  Must we constantly have to worry about corruption and scandal?

National Debt Clock

Perhaps it is because it is the wealthy and those in control who profit.  They understand the policies the most (and how to get around them), where the money is going, and how to benefit.  THEY REALIZE THAT LOWERING THE NATIONAL DEBT MEANS LESS CASH FLOW TO THEM.  While lower and middle class may be in debt to companies, the US is in debt to other countries and the rich.  How terrible.

The Trap of Being in Love with the Idea

Have you ever watched MTV’s show Made? There lots of episodes where high school students want to transform into something else. They want to be “made” into a sports star or dancer or something which they admire. Instead they tend to fall in love with idea and don’t understand everything it actually entails.

Now this is a lesson that I have learned that I am hesitant to admit. It is like a trap where a person likes the idea of something more than the thing itself. But here’s the catch, most of the time he/she has no idea what it is all about or what it takes until AFTER he/she begins the training. He/she was initially enamored by what it represents or his/her perception of what it is, rather than its true essence which eventually tests the person and puts him/her to the limits. This lesson applies to several aspects of life:

Possessions / wealth – Own a yacht… awesome idea right? But who takes care of it? What is the cost of maintenance? Where do you store it? Do you get seasick?
Location – Live in Hawaii... oh la la. But what if you want to leave? Traveling anywhere is far… and because of imports everything is expensive. So many pesky tourists too.
Relationships – Being with a pretty someone. Who is this person? What happens when you’re not around? What do they really think of you?
And of course your...
Career – Being a movie star. Is it really a glamorous life? Would you consistently wake up from 3am – 5am to shoot a movie? Tabloids and paparazzi always after you... waiting for a misstep. People want your money; who can you trust? Who likes you for you or instead for what you have and look like?

Ok, so let’s get a few things straight.
- I’m not trying to be pessimistic. Someone once clarified to me that it’s more about being real. That’s just the way things are in the world…. as cold and unforgiving as it may seem. The good does not come without the bad (i.e. rose + thorns) and life is not without its taxes.
- It is possible to be “happy” with what I mentioned. It’s a tradeoff. A “gain” in one direction is usually a “loss” in another. But those who play their strengths well will overcome regardless.
- It is not wrong to have any of those things. Just keep in mind what they actually mean.

How does one separate the idea from the core essence? Examine your intentions. Do you like it because someone else likes it? Or maybe you do because it looks or sounds good from the outside? Show some discretion over doing something for the glamour, for the spotlight, for the idea, for the wrong reason. What are the wrong reasons?? I’m not saying you can’t try it because you will definitely learn from it. Although sometimes you do know if it’s going to work out or not… like at this point, trying to be a professional hockey player is probably not the smartest option no matter how wonderful I think hockey is. If only life were so clear.

Special Olympic Edition Post

If ever there was a time to learn about passion, it’s from watching the Olympics. Can anyone doubt the passion of an Olympic competitor? Going for the gold includes substantial sacrifice and training for years just to compete. As I see each athlete taking the stage whether part of a team or individually, I wonder what kept them going. Was their satisfaction in the journey of training? No, it was in the destination. They wanted gold, or a medal, or at least to represent the country.

Pains and feelings of giving up are natural. They don’t signify a lack of passion; they’re merely human response. The body wants to give up… but pushing it makes it stronger. Same with the mind, it will reach its limit and need support from others. Both body and mind are stretched to the point where eventually they have standing potential.

What does this mean for us? It means passion is not about continuous enjoyment… at least not in the long run. I may have made a fatal mistake presuming that the two must coincide fully. The intense training and testing of your passion is what makes it stronger and proves its existence. It’s almost like a Catch-22 though. You have passion for something. You will give up other things for it. And it leads you to pain and times of trouble. But for getting through those times, you show your passion all the more. If you give up, then it was not your passion? I’m not sure I can answer that.

This is quite an eye-opener for me. Not in the revelation sense but more as a difficult reminder. I like something but the moment I find discomfort or resistance, I stay where I am at. Not trying to overcome it… or push myself. I have a particular threshold that if it’s overly uncomfortable, I won’t do it. Now is that the best approach? Of course not… it is going through the pain that allows us to grow. To what extent…? That may be the hardest question yet.

To be honest, the Olympics have inspired me to change some things about the way I am living my life.

The Journey vs. the Destination

It’s the age-old dilemma: do you take the $100K now? Or risk it all to open a $1 million case that has a 10% chance of being there?

I have seen two philosophies or two ends of the spectrum in life.

Type-S – One side believes in the now. He/she may say things like, “What is fun to do now?”, “You only life once.” or “I can sleep when I’m dead.” It is present-focused and tends to be unconsciously swayed without mind to consequences. The decision-making can be classified as risky and rash but is advantage when needing to be assertive or act fast. This may be a thrill-seeker but prone to extreme heartache or deep depression. The gains can come in greater steps but they are less predictable and may or may never come. This, however, also means that when losses come they are equally steep.

Type-L – The other side believes in the distant future. He/she may say things like, “What will the world be like in 10 years?” or “How should I spend the rest of the week?” There is some direction and generally involves quite a bit of thinking and planning. The decision-making can be slow but is usually well thought out. He/she likes to get advice and make mostly conservative and less drastic changes in life. Certainty is a god here. Any guarantee that fails to live to its promise will corrupt any trust that was once held. Gains and losses are incremental and almost imperceptible but over time may be significant.

The “S” stands for short-term and the “L” stands for long-term. I got the idea from basic investing. Me? I take both approaches. Although I’d say I’m only 25% Type-S and 75% a Type-L. Most of my investments are long term but being young (and ignorant), risks are more fun and often not properly thought out.

NOW WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???

Ok, understanding your type does have a purpose… just trust me. What this means is here: The Type-S will most likely care about the journey and the Type-L will most likely care about the destination. Now, let’s be clear, being rich is not a destination… it’s a desire. The destination would be a goal and something specific, like being rich from starting a business in a shoe shop in NYC. It’s tangible and could be someone’s dream. The journey is what things are like while trying to reach the destination. It’s strange because although I am more on the Type-L side, I see myself making many actions for the short-term payoff. Perhaps this says something about my dedication or the exactness of my destination. Not to undermine the Type-S, because the danger of the Type-L is to lose his/her vision of the destination and get caught up, so to speak, in something else. Here are typical scenarios for each type.

Type-S – Will take what is best now, and/or do what sounds good at the time.
Type-L – Is willing to work a near detestable job in order to save up for something else.

To give another illustration, when sorting through job offers, my primary concern was that combination of the work and the city had to be enjoyable. I knew that I was only guaranteed the now. Any promises that in several years being able to move somewhere didn’t mean much. There was no certainty in that unless I had it in a contract. Thus, my risk-taking was inhibited and I made the safe decision.

A few last things… (1) If played correctly, short-term investments may prove beneficial in the long-term, (2) one’s destination may change (3), people are different types in different aspects/stages of their life and (4) the people you are with affect your journey greatly. I would write more extensively about these but I feel that they are fairly axiomatic. If curious feel free to let me know.

In conclusion, as much as we try to classify and understand them, people are complicated beings. Let the complexity of the original question not be overlooked. One might expect a Type-S to take the $100K immediately and splurge. But he/she may also try for the million, being a risk-taker. Whereas the Type-L may like the certainty of the $100K, he/she may consider the fact that the overall payout odds are equal and how much more could be done by going for the million. Talk about unpredictable.

Note: Originally, I had intended to split this section into two. However, it was consolidated to "The Journey vs. the Destination" since the anticipated parts were ultimately both answered. "True Motivation" was covered in the 6/27 entry. And "Sacrificing the Present for the Future" was covered well here.

Loving Life First - Nonprofit work

Causes are dangerous. Why? People give their lives to causes. And are they successful? Sometimes yes… or worse, that it depends. My question is… what makes a cause worth someone’s life? Is it the desire to see the end? Or the intrinsic purpose in life that it provides? Being "a part of something" so to speak? It seems though that everyone lives for their beliefs whether they realize it or not. One's actions are the window to his/her beliefs.

Now nonprofit work carries a particular glamour to it. With some people unfortunately, it turns into a swagger. However, I would imagine the majority of nonprofit work is done with a good heart and intentions. And it is a place I’d like to be able to work in the future.

I have heard stories of the work being incredibly stressful, with low pay, and is generally underappreciated. Does this sound like the least bit enjoyable? This would mean that the draw is not in the ease, money or recognition. It altogether sounds very noble. Admirable, even.

I say, regardless of your job it is quite plausible to make a difference in the people around you first. Just because your company or work doesn’t nominally perform “acts of kindness” doesn’t mean that you cannot do them.

Loving Life First - Was work meant to be enjoyable?

There's an obsession with rankings. Who's number what? Who's the best? Best teams, best schools, best food, best of the best. The irony is that it's still subjective. There's typically a metric that is based on some attempted system of fairness. A dissenting opinion that is blatantly "wrong" by one may be "true"... but in the end it's his/her opinion of what's best in his/her mind. For example, a child who loves Spaghetti-O's may not enjoy the fancy Italian dish. And the greatest tasting quiche means nothing to the person who has an allergy to eggs. Ask any sports fan about a team that has become champions if the team has won completely fairly. “Best” still has unwritten stipulations. It depends on how it's measured and moreover, by whom.

So what does this have to do with work? Well, it means that the best ranked job still needs to be relevant to you. If a million people tell you a position is the best job, you might still disagree. It depends on your preference - the type of life you wish to live. Now that we have cleared things on this matter we can move on.

Last spring, I talked with a friend of mine named Amy. We were talking about the uncertainty of life and that perhaps work wasn't meant to be enjoyable. Was not part of the punishment of being banished from the Garden of Eden having to toil for food?

What I am not saying is that work cannot be enjoyable. But no one can deny that no job is perfect, and that there are certain parts of work which are not enjoyable; they may just be heavily outweighed by the benefits. There are certain aspects of my current work that I really do enjoy. Although it seems as I enjoy them for a longer period, somehow I tend to get spoiled by them. Now let's pull the major points together. We already established in the last entry that a life passion must be rooted in something deeper. Well on the surface, the outlet (via a job/work) is most enjoyable for an individual when the benefits heavily outweigh the drawbacks.

I’m going to take easy way out and not try to define benefits beyond being something that is valued and likable to the person. A simple one could be the preference to being outdoors versus indoors. More likely than not, better is easiest to define. Yet sometimes it’s not when neither is better/worse, there are tradeoffs and they’re merely different. This is definitely not something easily measured.

Ok, now to answer the primary question. Shockingly enough, I think the answer is no. Work was not meant to be enjoyable… at least not by itself. What do I mean? Work must have a purpose and significance. It cannot stand firmly on its own. Think about the father who works at Wendy’s to support his family. He may not find fun in flipping burgers and frying fries for a short while but in the end it is the deeper motivation which allows him to work as hard as he does. He is not anxious to serve you a hamburger as much as he is anxious to provide a nice dinner to his wife and children. But it does for the most part it does fulfill the life he wishes to live.

Note: This seems like an unfinished entry. I’ll try to have a concrete conclusion.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it. – Matthew 7:14